Don: As Isaiah indicated, we are light-years away from understanding god. What was lost in the Fall from the Garden was not simply the nearness of god. As Paul said in Acts 17:24-27:
The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us;…
Blind as we are in our Fallen state, by groping we might still find him within an arm’s length, according to this passage. The thing we really lost in the Fall was ourselves, not just our relationship with god. Like the Prodigal Son, we have to come to our senses—to come to ourselves, to become self-aware—if we are to find our way back to our Father’s house. This is not New Age selfish self-awareness—just the opposite: It is rooted in a fundamental need for god and to be restored into a right position with him.
I have selected six (from many relevant) biblical passages that illustrate this point that the essential element of religion is to become self-aware, more than it is to become aware of god. The stories are about: (1) A Samaritan woman who encounters Jesus at a water well, and becomes self-aware; (2) A Jewish woman desperately seeking a cure for continual menstrual bleeding that was considered unclean by society at that time; (3) A member of the Sanhedrin, the Jewish elite, called Nicodemus; (4) a despised Jewish tax collector, Zaccheus; (5) An Ethiopian—a non-Jew; and (6) The thief next to Jesus on the cross. In all six cases, an encounter with Jesus causes the central character to become self-aware, to come to his or her senses, to realize their own brokenness, their own sinfulness, corruptibility, mortality, and need for god’s grace.
1. The woman at the well. Jesus met a woman at a well and asked her for a drink of water. She replied… (John 4:11-31 and 39):
“Sir, You have nothing to draw with and the well is deep; where then do You get that living water? You are not greater than our father Jacob, are You, who gave us the well, and drank of it himself and his sons and his cattle?” Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”
The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, so I will not be thirsty nor come all the way here to draw.” He said to her, “Go, call your husband and come here.” The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly.” [Here we see Jesus provoking the woman to be self-aware. But she tries to evade it by appealing to religion, rather than to herself:] The woman said to Him, “Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped in this mountain, and you people say that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship.” Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe Me, an hour is coming when neither in this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers. God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” The woman *said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming (He who is called Christ); when that One comes, He will declare all things to us.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am He.”
At this point His disciples came, and they were amazed that He had been speaking with a woman, yet no one said, “What do You seek?” or, “Why do You speak with her?” So the woman left her waterpot, and went into the city and *said to the men, “Come, see a man who told me all the things that I have done; this is not the Christ, is it?” They went out of the city, and were coming to Him.
…
From that city many of the Samaritans believed in Him because of the word of the woman who testified, “He told me all the things that I have done.” [Here is the evidence that her encounter with Jesus made her self-aware.]
2. In our second example of causing self-awareness, Jesus meets a long-suffering Jewish woman who is ceremonially unclean because of an unabated menstrual period. She spent all of her money on physicians but none was able to help her; in fact, her bleeding grew worse. Mark 5:25-34:
…after hearing about Jesus, she came up in the crowd behind Him and touched His cloak. For she thought, “If I just touch His garments, I will get well.” Immediately the flow of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of her affliction. Immediately Jesus, perceiving in Himself that the power proceeding from Him had gone forth, turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched My garments?” And His disciples said to Him, “You see the crowd pressing in on You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’” And He looked around to see the woman who had done this. But the woman fearing and trembling, aware of what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth [this was the moment of self-awareness]. And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your affliction.”
3. In the third example, a Pharisee visits Jesus secretly, at night, ostensibly to talk about god, but in fact to be “born again,” to become self-aware. John 3:1-16:
Now there was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews; this man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that You have come from God as a teacher; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.” Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
Nicodemus said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? He cannot enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born, can he?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
Nicodemus said to Him, “How can these things be?” Jesus answered and said to him, “Are you the teacher of Israel and do not understand these things? Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know and testify of what we have seen, and you do not accept our testimony. If I told you earthly things and you do not believe, how will you believe if I tell you heavenly things? No one has ascended into heaven, but He who descended from heaven: the Son of Man. As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up; so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life.
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”
4. Next is the familiar story of Zaccheus, a wealthy Jew reviled by his fellow Jews because he collects taxes from them on behalf of the Romans (Luke 19:1-10:)
He entered Jericho and was passing through. And there was a man called by the name of Zaccheus; he was a chief tax collector and he was rich. Zaccheus was trying to see who Jesus was, and was unable because of the crowd, for he was small in stature. [This is a metaphor for the human condition vis-a-vis god.] So he ran on ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree in order to see Him, for He was about to pass through that way. [The metaphor here is that like the people who built the Tower of Babel, we think that by exerting ourselves to climb higher, we might more closely approach god.] When Jesus came to the place, He looked up and said to him, “Zaccheus, hurry and come down, for today I must stay at your house.” And he hurried and came down and received Him gladly. When they saw it, they all began to grumble, saying, “He has gone to be the guest of a man who is a sinner.” Zaccheus stopped and said to the Lord, [the moment of self-awareness] “Behold, Lord, half of my possessions I will give to the poor, and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will give back four times as much.” And Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because he, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.”
5. Next example: An Ethiopian eunuch happens across a disciple on the road (Acts 8:27-40:)
So he got up and went; and there was an Ethiopian eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of all her treasure; and he had come to Jerusalem to worship, and he was returning and sitting in his chariot, and was reading the prophet Isaiah. Then the Spirit said to Philip, “Go up and join this chariot.” Philip ran up and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet, and said, “Do you understand what you are reading?” And he said, “Well, how could I, unless someone guides me?” And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him. Now the passage of Scripture which he was reading was this:
“He was led as a sheep to slaughter;
And as a lamb before its shearer is silent,
So He does not open His mouth.
“In humiliation His judgment was taken away;
Who will relate His generation?
For His life is removed from the earth.”
[This is enough for the Ethiopian to become self-aware.]
The eunuch answered Philip and said, “Please tell me, of whom does the prophet say this? Of himself or of someone else?” Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning from this Scripture he preached Jesus to him. As they went along the road they came to some water; and the eunuch *said, “Look! Water! What prevents me from being baptized?” And Philip said, “If you believe with all your heart, you may.” And he answered and said, “I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.” And he ordered the chariot to stop; and they both went down into the water, Philip as well as the eunuch, and he baptized him. When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord snatched Philip away; and the eunuch no longer saw him, but went on his way rejoicing. But Philip found himself at Azotus, and as he passed through he kept preaching the gospel to all the cities until he came to Caesarea.
6. Finally, Luke 23:33-43:
When they came to the place called The Skull, there they crucified Him and the criminals, one on the right and the other on the left. But Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” [This is a clear statement that not being self-aware is a sin, though it is forgivable.] And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves. And the people stood by, looking on. And even the rulers were sneering at Him, saying, “He saved others; let Him save Himself if this is the Christ of God, His Chosen One.” The soldiers also mocked Him, coming up to Him, offering Him sour wine, and saying, “If You are the King of the Jews, save Yourself!” Now there was also an inscription above Him, “THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.”
One of the criminals who were hanged there was hurling abuse at Him, saying, “Are You not the Christ? Save Yourself and us!” But the other answered, and rebuking him said, “Do you not even fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? [The moment of self-awareness:] And we indeed are suffering justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.” And he was saying, “Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom!” And He said to him, “Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise.”
All these examples show that an encounter with Jesus is transformational, but it transforms our relationship with ourselves, and it leads to the Fourth Mystery (1 Corinthians 15:51-55:)
Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality. But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?”
Religion has been perverted from a correct pursuit of self-awareness to a forlorn pursuit of god. 1 Corinthians 13:8-13:
Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. [Here comes the self-awareness—why else look in a mirror?…:] For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.
We need to find ourself and reconcile with god through a more complete understanding of ourselves.
Jay: The story of Zaccheus has similarities to the parable of the Rich Young Ruler, but one unsettling difference. Both are rich and both are seeking salvation. Zaccheus is willing to give up half of his wealth, and thereby finds a sort of salavation; whereas the Rich Young Ruler is told he must give up all of his wealth—evidently, a half won’t do. The difference seems to be that Zaccheus is sought by Jesus, whereas the Rich Young Ruler seeks Jesus. It seems that if you let Jesus come to you, you have an easier time than you would have if you seek him out.
David: The element common to all the examples Don gave seems to be confession. In the Catholic faith, is confession designed to promote self-awareness, or simply to remind people of the law?
Ada: Confession makes my skin crawl! It is a legalistic requirement of Catholics, and is not so much to promote self-awareness as to seek salvation by being reminded of the law.
Kiran: Zaccheus is in the presence of Jesus because he is feeling guilty and sorry for himself. He is ripe for redemption. The RYR, in contrast, is not really contrite, so in asking him to give up everything Jesus was hoping to make him aware of his truly arrogant self. So the percentage of wealth to give up is meaningless except as a sign of self-awareness.
Pat: Another difference between the two is the manner of their approaches to Jesus. Zaccheus was so anxious to encounter Christ that he was willing to make a public spectacle of himself—climbing up a tree and probably shouting and gesticulating, in the midst of a crowd of people. The RYR, in contrast, snuck in for a discreet tête-à-tête with Jesus at night. The two approaches say a lot about the readiness of the actors to face the truth about themselves.
David: Both seemed to have a sense of guilt, but only Zaccheus was willing to confess. The RYR thought he could assuage his guilt just by doing something good. He did not want to confess.
Don: Indeed, he claimed that he had been doing good all his life! In the examples I gave and in many more examples in scripture, the ones who are transformed after meeting Jesus are those who are willing to make a confession, to admit that they are lacking something, that they need god, they need grace. The Mystery that we shall all be changed is related to this: The change only occurs in those who recognize that they need change.
Chris: Each actor in the stories had a moment of vulnerability, exposed by Jesus or by others. What transforms is the response to the vulnerability. Usually, when our faults are exposed, people go for our jugular. Jesus does the very opposite. He offers love and acceptance, not condemnation, in our moment of vulnerability. It reminds us of the golden rule: Love one’s neighbor as oneself.
Kiran: In today’s society, “political correctness” inhibits us from pointing out or drawing attention to the vulnerabilities and faults in others. It’s hard to find someone who will tell me frankly what’s wrong with me. [Don: You need a wife. 🙂 ] Paul said we see ourselves dimly in the mirror. Why? Is it because we would be horrified if we say ourselves clearly?
Jay: It seems to be not an intellectual process. It involves the senses. When Jesus asks Nicodemus: “You’re a teacher—why can’t you get it?” he is not being sarcastic. It goes beyond intellectual understanding. You cannot be born again through the intellect alone.
Don: Seeing in a mirror dimly means that it takes something other than photons to see ourselves properly; that there exists something supernatural, something divine, something beyond what we can apprehend just by looking at ourselves in the mirror. If all it took were a mirror, we would not need god to be involved in our self-awareness; but in all these stories, Jesus is the mirror of self-awareness.
Pat: Are self-awareness and god-awareness discrete, separate, things? Are they not in essence the same?
David: As a believer in the “inner light’—of god within us—I think they are. For that reason alone I can see value in the Catholic formal practice of confession.
Ada: But the incessant reminder of sinfulness tends to rob people of their self esteem.
David: The old church also instilled a sense of humility through the grandeur of its architecture and furnishings. The more extreme protestants choose simplicity, and don’t have ritual confession. I wonder what’s the difference in effect?
Ada: I think the idea behind the grandeur is to contrast the yin of our smallness without god against the yang of our greatness with god. But Catholics are led to believe they will never be good enough. The end of the confession, after the priest dictates the penance, is marked by the exhortation to “sin no more.” Which is, of course, impossible!
Kiran: When I became a Christian and asked how to pray, I was taught the mnemonic ACTS: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication. I always confess, whenever I pray.
Don: Not everyone that Jesus encountered was transformed (the RYR, for instance.) But it seems that a deep self-awareness is very much coupled with a sense of god’s grace and sustaining and creative power.
Kiran: Peter had several moments of self-awareness, such as when he denied knowing Jesus.
Don: So it seems we need to be made constantly self-aware, or we forget.
Jay: Confession would seem to be central to self-awareness.
Don: But perhaps, as Ada suggests, it needs to be focused less on one’s brokenness and more on the power of god’s grace to restore.
Jay: It should be less of “I am bad!” and more “I need help!”
Kiran: Confession can become too ritualistic and lose its meaning and power. It is difficult to maintain a state of permanent confession! There are times when confession is exactly right and meaningful. I confess every day, but it is not meaningful every day.
Pat: The balance is to look at ourselves in truth and see that in each human being there is good—“good” meaning “god”—but there are also shortcomings that need to be addressed. Self-assessment requires confession and grace, and to take the chance offered by god to see ourselves as we really are.
Ada: No matter what, god will forgive.
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