Last week, as we were wrapping up our discussion, Michael asked: Would grace be easier to accept if we saw God as a female rather than as a male? Is a mother’s love more tender, more forgiving, more durable than a father’s love? Maybe saying it another way: Is there a cultural component to the understanding of grace? Does where you were born, how you were raised, your religious background, the language you speak, or how you are educated influence that understanding? Do your life experiences influence it?
We’ve noted that grace is a highly charged subject, not easily understood and not universally accepted. It takes many passes sometimes to get your mind around it. Strong emotions are tied to it, from extreme anger to overwhelming joy. No argument can be made that God limits his grace based on culture. God is the God of all mankind. God’s grace is open and free to all. But does our culture influence how we see God and therefore influence how we see grace and how we accept grace? Does it also influence how we share grace with others?
To study this further, we turn to the story of the Samaritan woman at the well for possible insights. Immediately preceding her story is the story of Nicodemus’ visit to Jesus at night. Both Nicodemus and the Samaritan woman ended up being among the earliest converts to Christianity. Even before the term “Christian” was coined, they were followers of Christ. They represent the early church. Yet they were near polar opposites: Nicodemus was a Jew, and not just any Jew but a Pharisee, a Jew of the Jews—educated, wealthy, highly moral, and male. Moreover, he was a seeker. He came to Jesus in the night. Those of us who call ourselves believers might identify with Nicodemus: We’re educated. We’re mortal. We’re seekers.
The woman at the well, in contrast, is a woman, a Samaritan, uneducated, poor, and immoral. She does not seek Jesus—Jesus seeks her, and he seeks her not at night but at high noon. Although we see ourselves as Nicodemus we are, in truth, more like the Samaritan woman, without religious pedigree, poor, immoral, and outcast. What the Samaritan woman and Nicodemus have in common, however, it turns out, is, first, that they both need grace, and second, that neither understands what grace is all about. Both were schooled in grace by Jesus.
The story of Nicodemus shows that those who are good—even very, very good—still need God’s grace. Grace produces a new birth, a new spiritual birth. Born into the Father’s house, Nicodemus doesn’t understand this at all. He talks about crawling back into his mother’s womb. Jesus taught him the most important lesson about grace, which is that grace has to do with what God does and not what we do. For God, Jesus says, “so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).
The passage about the woman at the well contains the longest discourse that Jesus has with anyone in the entire gospels—more than any discussion he had with the Pharisees, more than any discussion he had with his disciples. Jesus talked to the woman at the well longer than anyone else. We will differ from our usual practice of quoting from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) and read the passage instead from the New International Version (NIV) of the Bible:
Now Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that he was gaining and baptizing more disciples than John— although in fact it was not Jesus who baptized, but his disciples. So he left Judea and went back once more to Galilee.
Now he had to go through Samaria. So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.
When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)
The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)
Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”
Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”
He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”
“I have no husband,” she replied.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”
“Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.”
“Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”
The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”
Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.”
Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”
Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” They came out of the town and made their way toward him.
Meanwhile his disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat something.”
But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.” (John 4:7-32 [NIV])
Jesus was going north, from Jerusalem to Galilee. Normally a Jew going north would take the trans-Jordan route on the east side of the Jordan River to avoid traveling through Samaria. Verse 4 says that Jesus “had to” go through Samaria. This shows the intentionality of his journey. He is going to find the woman at the well. Like a shepherd looking for his lost sheep Jesus sets out to find his lost soul.
He arrives at Jacob’s Well at noon. The well is the center of a village, the focal point of gathering—but not at noon, the hottest time of the day. Midday is a time for rest. Jesus arrives here thirsty and tired. Jacob’s Well is in modern day Nablus on the West Bank of the country of Palestine. (Today this well is covered by an Orthodox Christian church. But its location is considered authentic, one of the truest sights of the Holy Land.) He must have been surprised to find a woman coming there at midday. The usual time for drink drawing water was in the morning or in the evening, not at high noon.
Finding this woman there is highly significant, I believe. There is great symbolism here. The village well, you see, is where you go to find a wife. Abraham’s servant, Eliezer, goes to the well to find Rebecca, a wife for Isaac. The story is told in Genesis 24. Verse 16 says that Rebecca was fair to look at. She might be considered ancient eye candy, and a virgin. She’s expensive, it turns out, but worth apparently every penny—10 camels, plus jewelry and gold. Maybe she’s the first trophy wife in history. Isaac’s son Jacob finds his wife Rachel at a well (Genesis 29). She’s described in verse 17 as beautiful and well favored. Today, we might say she was shapely and well built. Moses finds his wife Zipporah at a well (Exodus 2).
The significance here cannot be missed: The well is where you go to find a wife. Throughout the Scriptures we see a picture of Jesus as a bridegroom looking for a wife, which is known as the church. Unlike the other women found at a well, Jesus finds a Samaritan woman, not a Jew, and neither lovely nor a virgin. In truth, she is more like Gomer (about whom we talked a few weeks ago). She’s a Samaritan, ritually unclean, has had five husbands, and is living with a man who is not her husband. God’s bride is a five-time loser who’s been sleeping around.
We, you see, are the woman at the well. We are outcast. broken down, and living in sin. Jesus seeks us out not to condemn us, but to engage us, to teach us, to call us, and to save us. He meets with us where we’re morally bankrupt, at the well of life, which is where I work to sustain myself. The well is deep and requires much effort to draw. It is my bucket, my role to draw thew water. It is my muscles that get the precious water to quench my thirst. It must not be missed that the more I draw, the more tired I become. The more I draw, the more I thirst. This cycle of work and tired, work and thirst must be broken. And that of course, is the miracle of grace.
Jesus sees this woman at the well at an odd time, likely because with her history and her present lifestyle she doesn’t fit in very well with the rest of the community. He knows everything about her, yet still wants her to be his spiritual bride. He doesn’t look on the outside. He sees her work and sees her as a person redeemed by grace. “Give me a drink,” he says, and she responds: “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” For Jews do not associate with Samaritans. There are, she implies, cultural elements at play here. “How is it that you are first wanting me to overlook the culture? And how is it that you on the other hand are willing yourself to overlook the culture?”
His request and action does two things. He’s saying to the Jews: “I am not going to allow you to define what the Samaritans are,” and to the Samaritans: “I’m not going to let you define who God is.” Man’s culture seeks to define who we are, and who you are. Man’s culture also seeks to define who God is. But Jesus here will have none of it. He is the definer and he is the decider. Grace, he says trumps everything. And then he makes his pitch in verse 10:
“If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that asked you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
“If you knew the gift of God.” It is the universal need, to know the gift of God—the gift of grace. “If you knew what grace was, you would ask for grace,” he said. It is very clear she doesn’t understand what grace is. Like Nicodemus literally trying to climb back into his mother’s womb, she envisions her own private well, her own private source of water. No hauling of hard-earned water back to her house. My own personal well, my own personal stash is what we all want from God, our own personal well. My own personal blessing, my own personal blessing for my family, blessing for my health, blessings for my business, for my relationships, and for my bank account. What I want from you, God, is to make my life less of a burden.
The Samaritan woman and Nicodemus, like us, completely missed the point. Being not spiritually wise, we completely misunderstand grace. When we first hear about grace, it goes completely over our heads. It nearly takes a miracle for us to comprehend the lavish gift of God’s grace. We’re so focused on the personal blessings we will miss out on the point of grace.
Jesus then drops the bombshell: “Go get your husband,” (verse 16). “I have no husband,” she replied. Jesus said: “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is you have had five husbands and the man that you now have is not your husband. What you have said is quite true.” “Sir, the woman replied, “I can see that you are a prophet.”
We see here no condemnation of the woman at the well, no call to turn from sin. We only see the power of grace. As it turns out, this power of grace turns work into worship, living water bubbles up and flows all over. The woman then tries to engage in theological debate, but Jesus turns aside doctrinal debate. In verse 28, she leaves her water jar behind—this is significant: She is setting aside her works. Living water changes everything. Grace turns works into worship—worship in spirit and in truth. Notice the work of Jesus here (and it should be our work as well) is to tell and to teach the story of grace.
So how does culture shape our thinking about grace? Our religious culture, our social culture, our economic culture? When I talk to others about grace, the most frequent reply I get is “That doesn’t seem to be very real. I’ve never heard that before.” How do we respond to the expression that talking about grace tells us something that we’ve never heard before. What are your thoughts about grace and culture, about what lessons we might learn about grace from the story of the woman at the well? Have you been to Nablus, Michael?
Michael: Yes, I have. On one or two of the mountains of Nablus the Samarians are still there. Nablus is a Palestinian town. The Israelis have offered them Israeli passports so they can live in Israel, but most of them still choose to live on their land—the two mountains in Nablus where they have their own community.
Robin: I think this woman had to be feeling worthless, unloved, and unwanted, so for the Messiah to seek her out…? I think he went to Samaria knowing he was going to have that contact with the one who would need him the most. And then he told her to go and tell. I think it speaks to the one sheep in a hundred that is lost, even though the other 99 are saved.
C-J: I agree. It’s an example of our value, that Christ would give his life. That’s how important we are to the Father: Priceless. It’s amazing, when you think about it, that somebody would give by cultural norm their life for somebody that is not valued. Society is saying you’re a throwaway person. It’s beautiful.
Sharon: I think that you can’t separate culture. I remember growing up in Pakistan, where there’s a dearth of a culture of grace. I remember sitting on a wall watching Muslims walking up and down the streets beating themselves with chains and knives, trying in their most deep spiritual moment to gain the recognition of God, of Allah. That stuck with me.
No amount of works will suffice. Not Martin Luther climbing up the steps in penitence. There is culture, especially faith culture, that requires that you pay the personal price for your sins. I think that culture plays a deep role in the messages that we give our kids and the messages that we ourselves have been given about works and what works will do for us, and I don’t think we really can separate out the nuances of the worldview of the culture that we are socialized in, in anything that we do.
Don: So should we just accept and go with the culture, and not seek to try to change it? You talk about the culture of works, which is deeply ingrained. Do we need to get rid of the culture or do we need to re-educate with grace?
Sharon: I live in a diverse culture every day. Everyone will tell me: “Oh, well, that’s our culture.” And I’ll say: “But do not biblical values transcend culture?” So all the time I’m pushing this (maybe irrational) excuse that in our culture we can do “this.” I’ll say: “But don’t our biblical Christian values transcend our culture? Is it normal to be corrupt? Should I turn a blind eye to corruption?” Where does our biblical foundation transcend the issues of culture? This is an everyday challenge for me.
C-J: And that’s what I think happened at the well. He used the woman’s language. He took the risk, he extended grace by even showing up and speaking truth, even though it was painful truth. I think that’s the beauty of the divine creator. It is profound and everybody knows there is nothing we can do of ourselves. Why would we destroy something beautiful, humanity that God created, out of our own shame? God says: “I don’t see it. I see the beauty that you were intended to be.” It’s profound.
I think the minute you use the word biblical, you separate, but if you were you to use the words grace, love, generosity, forgiveness…. Those are not based in defining yourself as being separate. I’ll use words like moral compass. I don’t point to the Bible unless there’s an exchange of using all biblical text. It’s not about escaping the culture. It’s about finding the common language within cultures that leads us back to Christ.
Donald: What is a faith culture, or a spiritual culture? If we think we understand something, then we quickly put it in the context of “my” culture. My midwest American culture defines my orientation to this world. My faith doctrines are all part of who I am and what I’m about. All this rests on top of a spiritual culture. To share this with, or describing it to, someone, I do so in that total context, but then my family culture, my academic culture, and so on, are layered on top of all that.
I think we should be sharing his spiritual culture, but unfortunately we end up sharing our works culture, which is doctrine—which divides us and is the furthest thing from spiritual.
David: I think Donald is right. Starting in about verse 22 of the passage we just read, Jesus seems to be saying basically the same thing: “You Samaritans worship what you don’t know, we Jews worship what we do know.” What did the Jews know? They knew the Bible as it was then. “But,” Jesus says (in my interpretation), “that’s all going to be irrelevant when true worshipers will simply worship God in the spirit and the truth.”
We can argue about whether the Bible is the truth, but I think the Bible is a cultural artifact, as are the Qur’an and all of the other holy books of the world. Worship belongs in the Spirit, and that’s what the woman at the well was being given instruction in.
I don’t think that we need to change religion except to the extent that it denies that we need to worship in the Spirit. Jesus seems to be saying: “Look, it really doesn’t matter what you worship, whether you’re a Jew and you read the Bible or you’re Samarian and read whatever Samarians read” (I thought they read the same scriptures, but I don’t know.)
Michael: With every culture, it seems the idea of grace just doesn’t fit in, which is fascinating, because there is no culture except maybe prehistoric cultures that has a mother image of the land that gave them everything, in a sense for free. But in today’s “civilized” cultures, there is no expectation of getting anything for free, of getting something without doing any work.
C-J: I think it was Joseph Stalin that made the statement “Work gives life meaning.” I think work is a part of any relationship. You’ve got to have skin in the game, you’ve got to be willing to do self sacrifice, “Not my will, but Your will.” But the more we give room to that spiritual relationship with the divine, the less difficult it is.
Culture is time and place but God the Divine is eternal. It really is about losing the ego, not our identity as who we are in time and place, but the ego. So that’s the grace, when we can completely surrender to God and trust that if God wants it, it’s to help us to grow in that relationship and to be a witness of what that relationship really is. It’s not about what I can’t do. It’s about who I become.
Reinhard: Every country has culture. Grace was proclaimed by God through the Bible. That’s how we know grace. As long as the culture, the habits of the people, are not against the Bible, I think that’s fine. In my experience, the Bible and Christian teaching saved my culture, just as technology and scientific knowledge make any culture better. Those who accept Jesus Christ as their Savior live better lives within their own culture without needing to change all their cultural habits. The Bible shapes culture for the better.
The woman at the well came at high noon to avoid the crowd. People knew her background as an immoral woman. During his ministry, Jesus encountered three women of loose morals, including one who committed adultery, and Mary, who poured oil onto Jesus at Simon’s house. Simply meeting with the minority—women—broke a cultural barrier at that time. But the teaching of grace, the teaching of the Bible, the mission Jesus brought to the world is precisely to break cultural barriers, to tell and to show people that grace is for everyone. Back then in the Middle East and in Jewish culture, man played all the roles. Teaching the Bible breaks all cultural barriers wherever Christianity takes it in the world.
C-J: I think it’s interesting that you use the word minority. Minor, lesser than, referring to women or anything that deviated from the Jewish faith. I think what you said is accurate. This is where grace abounds, when they are no longer seen as lesser, or even equal, grace is being lifted up. I marvel over and over again at the intervention of God in our everyday lives, whether it’s food, shelter, peace, healing, in every level of healing, where God just inserts himself with grace.
Many people don’t even know how to pray, don’t even trust prayer, they have no sense of faith in something they cannot see, or think has failed them before. But when God shows up, and it’s unmistakable, it’s always lifting a person up and transforming. Grace abounds.
Michael: The whole encounter was an encounter with grace, with Jesus. But the moment of passing grace, as I understood it, was when Jesus basically told that woman who she was, but didn’t condemn her. This is what prompted her to ask: “Are you a prophet?” and then run to tell other people. This is the “works” of grace: Running to tell other people. It is a “works” but one that follows grace, not works that precedes it. He told her: “This is who you are, and who you are is fine with me.” That was the grace she received.
C-J: Jesus told her to go back. He didn’t say: “Come with me and follow me.” He said: “Go back.” And so I see in that instance (I have not seen this before) that the love is grace. This love acceptance was for her to go back and to be that light in that community. I can’t imagine how angry that woman must have been at the judgment, being condemned for circumstance, and to go back and to join in compassion instead of judgment as she had been judged.
“You say that you love God and God loves you. Look at how you treat me. Possibly look at how you treat my children. I have to go to the well when it’s hot, nobody will talk to me.” And now to go back having known this unmeasured love, abundance, forgiveness, peace is an amazing thing for her to go back with, not what she came with.
Reinhard: Jesus didn’t condemn the adulterous woman. He just told her to go and sin no more. Jesus always showed compassion. Grace is all about how we love other people, no matter how bad they are. The love of God extends to every human beings, no matter their background or culture. We are learning how powerful grace is to every human being.
Kiran: Let’s say every culture has something good and something bad. There are certain things that I am really embarrassed about regarding my own culture, and there are certain things that I think are really good in my culture. If you contextualize grace within my culture and then tell me that I’m saved not by my works but by the grace and forgiveness of God, it changes my culture. There is no question.
For example, Paul went to a temple where they made idols. He talked to everybody there about grace. The temple profits fell because worshipers stopped buying the idols. The town was turned upside down. The same thing happened to me, in my own culture. There are many things my mother practices that I don’t practice anymore. Even my own Christian culture is different from the Christian culture of other Indians. There is no avoiding changing the culture.
To know the truth, you stop practicing things that don’t make sense anymore. For example, I don’t care about “auspicious” times, I’m not worried about evil spirits and ghosts possessing me. I don’t worry about several things that don’t make any sense to me. Before, I never used to socialize with people of a lower caste, but now I welcome them into my home. I no longer even think about caste. My culture changed, even though I’m the same Indian guy, because Jesus came into me.
We all talk about the point of grace. At that point, Christ comes in to you, leaving you with his Spirit, which leads us to go the way he wants us to go. It’s not about me anymore. It’s about him, directing me in the way that he wants me to be. I think that’s the important thing. Once she received grace, the woman at the well was led by the Holy Spirit. That’s why she did what she did. The point of receiving grace is important but it’s also important how we are led after that point.
Culture is like a stew without salt. Everything is thrown into a boiling pot, but grace adds salt to it and makes it edible and nourishing. There are things in my culture that I don’t want to participate in, which is totally fine, I think. The spiritual culture of God elevates us above our human cultures. So I’m not I’m not ashamed of leaving parts of my human culture behind and being different. Rather, I embrace it.
Donald: If you share God’s spiritual culture, it will change you. It’s not a matter of trying to change others. When you share your understanding of spirituality with others, it will change them if they participate. It’s not a matter of attempting to change them. It will happen not because of me, but because of them.
Kiran: I agree. It changes us. We go through a new journey, which is wonderful. There is no part of me that wants to go back to my previous life. I believe the woman at the well hated her past life. Who would like to be like thrown around five different partners? No one loved her enough. So once Jesus came there and loved her and said he would slake her thirst with his everlasting fountain of water, she didn’t need anything else. She was completely filled up, and I think that’s the point. She doesn’t want to go back to her previous life.
Reinhard: Maybe there are individual cultural habits that go against God’s law. In approaching this woman—this individual—I believe he wanted to show that it was OK to associate with Samaritans. Culturally, they would not associate. He tried to break that habit. Christian teaching brought some culture to people in my country who practiced things that contravened the Bible, the Commandments, and God. It’s not against the Bible to wear certain clothes or have customs on certain days. The Bible says that a multitude of people of every tongue will be accepted for eternal life. So no matter what culture people come from, what counts is accepting God and accepting Jesus as Savior.
Don: It’s remarkable to me that the degree of involvement Jesus wants with her personally is as a spiritual bride. It is not just a casual relationship he’s seeking. He’s seeking to reshape her culture entirely by becoming personally involved in her culture. To me, finding women at the well is a beautiful parallel: Jesus is seeking not just to influence her thinking but to completely change her way of life by making her in essence his bride.
Donald: My spiritual culture was not difficult to grow up in. Some of you have moved from one culture to another. It was a decision that probably influences how your family relates to you. That is not the case in my circumstances. So you might see change differently from the way I see it.
Is there somebody that I really would not associate with? If they were hurtful, I would not, but that’s a pretty strong position to take, isn’t it? But it happens in this world today—only not in my experience.
Carolyn: Whatever we decide, we have to put our foot in the water to acquire grace, in my opinion. Moses just held out his rod and the water parted, but you had to put your foot in. We have to attempt to do something. I don’t know if you call it works. But I think that with grace and faith we have to step forward and we have to accept the bounty that God has given us through grace.
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