The Parable of the Ten Virgins

We’re studying the discourse found in Matthew 24 and 25, the so called Olivet discourse, which is centered on the question that the disciples ask in verse 3: “What shall be the sign of your coming, and the end of the age?” Related to this question, which has been a question for all believers since the disciples, is what does it mean to be ready? “Watch and be ready!” That’s what we’re told we need to do. Be prepared. 

The desire to be ready is linked to the concept of righteousness. To be ready is to be righteous. To be prepared is to be in such a holy state that we’re ready for translation. That’s why we feel that the timelines are so important. It gives us time to get ready and helps us to understand what’s going to happen in the future. We don’t like surprises when it comes to the Advent. 

To better understand the end of the age and the signs of his coming, Jesus tells four parables in the discourse: The parables of the fig tree, the 10 virgins, the talents, and the sheep and the goats. Last week, we looked at the parable of the fig tree. Just as the leaves of the fig tree herald the arrival of fruit, Jesus says, so signs on Earth and signs in the heaven herald the coming of Christ. 

But the timeline between the leaves and the fruit is imprecise. It’s reliable and sure, but imprecise. So too are earthquakes and violence and hatred and wars. Jesus seems to be saying that when you see or experience these natural or manmade disasters, it is a reminder that he will come again ; that just as certain as these disasters are in our lives, Jesus will come again. Donald called it the rainbow sign, referring to a naturally occurring sign that God would never destroy the Earth with flood again. 

These signs then are not to produce a timeline about when Jesus will come; they are to remind us and to reassure us that he will come. They have served to remind every individual and every generation down through the ages and continue to do so for us today. 

In order to understand better the concept of being ready, Jesus then tells the parable of the 10 virgins: 

 “Then the kingdom of heaven will be comparable to ten virgins, who took their lamps and went out to meet the groom. Five of them were foolish, and five were prudent. For when the foolish took their lamps, they did not take extra oil with them; but the prudent ones took oil in flasks with their lamps. Now while the groom was delaying, they all became drowsy and began to sleep. But at midnight there finally was a shout: ‘Behold, the groom! Come out to meet him.’ Then all those virgins got up and trimmed their lamps. But the foolish virgins said to the prudent ones, ‘Give us some of your oil, because our lamps are going out.’ However, the prudent ones answered, ‘No, there most certainly would not be enough for us and you too; go instead to the merchants and buy some for yourselves.’ But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the groom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding feast; and the door was shut. Yet later, the other virgins also came, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open up for us.’ But he answered, ‘Truly I say to you, I do not know you.’ Be on the alert then, because you do not know the day nor the hour.”  (Matthew 25:1-13)

There is much to see in this parable, and some surprises too, I think. First, this is not a parable about the righteous and the wicked. It is about how believers wait for the parousía (παρουσία), a Greek word used in the New Testament to refer to the Second Coming. The setting is a familiar picture of weddings in that culture. Even today in the east, including India, the groom goes to the bride’s house to see the bride. 

Kiran did such a thing three years ago. I was there. It was quite a party. There was music and eating and dancing and rituals. It lasted well into the night. This parable of Jesus would have been well understood by those listening to him. The bride is in her home in her house. The bridesmaids wait outside to accompany the groom when he arrives.

Note that the bridesmaids all were virgins. They are pure, undefiled, perfect. This is not about righteousness and wickedness. It is also important to know that being a virgin is a product of good work: Self-denial, self-control, strident effort. Shunning, by sheer willpower, the sins of concupiscence is what produces a virgin. A virgin is a virgin not by accident, not by goodwill, but by complete resolve. If willpower and right-doing could put you into the wedding feast, all 10 of these virgins are eligible. They are all pure.

(Just in passing: The number 10 is important as well. It represents the congregation of believers. It takes in the Jewish culture—10 are needed in the synagogue to form a congregation, so that the prayers can be said. Ten are needed in order to have a quorum for worship.) 

In every way but one, the five wise and the five foolish virgins are the same: All bridesmaids, all virgins. all part of the bridal party, all waiting for the groom. They all had lamps. They all had oil. They all had fire (really what they had was light—more on this later). They all fell asleep and lost oil while they slept, unaware. They all heard the midnight cry: “Behold, the bridegroom cometh.” They all then wake up to discover that their lamps are flickering, and they all trim their lamps. 

But then things change. The wise had extra oil, but the foolish see that their oil is running low. It cannot be missed (this is an important point) that all of the virgins had enough oil to get to the time of the bridegroom’s coming. When the cry goes out, all lamps are still burning. More importantly, the entry to the party was not dependent upon the condition of the lamps, or how much oil was left. There is nothing in this story to suggest that plenty of oil was a criterion for admission to the wedding feast, or that low oil or even no oil was a criterion for exclusion. 

What made the foolish foolish is not that they didn’t bring enough oil, but that first, they judged themselves to be unworthy to go into the party with low oil; and second, they thought they could go into town at midnight, find a shop open, and buy oil. They were foolish because they judged themselves unworthy to party and decided to take things into their own hands to make themselves worthy. They were foolish because had they simply stood there, with their low oil and their flickering lamps, they would have been swept in with the party as the bridegroom and arrived, where inside there was ample light. There was no need for their small light, for their small lamps. Their light wouldn’t even be noticed. 

The sin of the foolish was that they did not stay to go into the party. Instead, feeling unprepared they took matters into their own hands. They felt themselves unworthy. Do you see grace here? The door is open. They simply need to go in. There’s plenty of light inside. But they paid too much attention to their own light and so missed the open door. Verse 10 says: ”And while they were going away to make the purchase, the bridegroom came; and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding feast and the door was shut.” This is the key: “And while they went away to buy, the bridegroom came and they who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast and the door was shut.” 

Here we see the contrast between the foolish and the wise. The foolish went away to buy. They turned away from the open door. They turned away from the bridegroom. The wise go into the wedding feast. They, it says, we’re ready. Ready here means that they were ready for the open door. The foolish, it says, went away. Jesus here is making a strong and significant point. The open door of course is grace. It is open for those with oil and for those with almost no oil. In his eyes, we’re all virgins. We’ve been purified by his blood. We’ve all been given the robe of righteousness for the wedding feast. 

The key to understanding this parable is to think of the lamplight, not the oil. But like the foolish five we are so concerned with our oil that we fail to see that with the light of the feast our measly little lamplight is almost insignificant. It’s not about oil, it’s about light. A pot of oil without a lamp is just as useless as a lamp is without oil. The goal is neither lamp or oil: It is light. This is the key to understanding this parable. As we wait for the bridegroom, as we wait for the parousia, we are to be light bearers. We are called to bring light into dark places. But our feeble light is insignificant to the brightness of the bridegroom’s coming and to the brightness of the wedding feast. 

We are all invited to the wedding feast. We are all virgins, pure and washed white in the blood of the Lamb. The door is open, all we have to do is to go in. Our lights are insignificant at the feast. They are important in the darkness but we must not equate our lamps with entry into the wedding feast. Our entry to the marriage feast of the Lamb is based on an invitation and an open door, not upon the amount of oil that we have in our lamp. It is a foolish thing to turn our backs on the open door while we try to get our measly little lamplight going. That same light that appears so penetrating in the darkness adds essentially nothing to the bright light of the wedding feast. 

To be ready—to be wise—is to be prepared to enter through the open door. To be foolish is to see that the door is open yet turn our back on it in order to get something of my own. Bearing light in dark places is what we’re called to do as we wait for the parousia but not at the expense of the open door, which is God’s everlasting grace. The door we see in verse 11 doesn’t stay open forever. Eventually the door is shut. The door of grace will close. 

The five foolish virgins arrived back at the wedding feast. There is no word in the story as to whether or not they found oil at midnight from all the closed shops. But the door was shut. Verse 11: “And the other virgins came and said, ‘Lord, Lord, open for us.’ But he answered and said: ‘Truly I say to you, I do not know you.’ Be on the alert then, for you do not know the day or the hour.” 

“I do not know you. Do I know you? I don’t think I know you.” How could the bridegroom know them? They had left just as he was arriving. Just as the door was opening, they were leaving. What does it mean anyway to be known by God? For example: 

 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; leave Me, you who practice lawlessness.’” (Matthew 7:21-23)

Is it more important for you to know God or that God knows you? And what does God mean when he says: “I never knew you”? John 10 gives us an illustration of the sheep and the shepherds and the open door all rolled into one:

 “Truly, truly I say to you, the one who does not enter by the door into the fold of the sheep, but climbs up some other way, he is a thief and a robber. But the one who enters by the door is a shepherd of the sheep. To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep listen to his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he puts all his own sheep outside, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. However, a stranger they simply will not follow, but will flee from him, because they do not know the voice of strangers.” Jesus told them this figure of speech, but they did not understand what the things which He was saying to them meant.

So Jesus said to them again, “Truly, truly I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All those who came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came so that they would have life, and have it abundantly.

“I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who is not the owner of the sheep, sees the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf snatches them and scatters the flock. He flees because he is a hired hand and does not care about the sheep. (John 10:11-13) 

What does it mean to be known by God? How can a God who knows everything not know us? 

In Exodus 33, Moses and God are in a dialogue about how much Moses can know about God. God makes the point that man’s knowledge about God is limited and finite. In Galatians 4 Paul stops himself, saying: “But now that you have come to know God, or rather, since God knows you,” he says, implying that we are prone to claim that we know God. But really, it’s God knowing us that is important. 

What a stirring and strange and stunning thought that God doesn’t know us! What does that really mean? What does being ready mean? What are we supposed to do with our own lamps as we wait? What about the open door and the contrast between our little insignificant lamp and the brightness of the wedding feast? 

Donald: Yesterday I went to a town about 20 miles away and discovered I had left my phone at home. It was really quite challenging, because I was trying to get a hold of somebody and I was trying to locate something. There was a whole bunch of things going on that I needed the phone for. I was reaching for my phone even though it wasn’t there. I’m wondering if that’s a little bit like the lamp. Your phone’s useless if you don’t have any power. It’s dead. 

So they brought these devices, if you will, to the wedding, and apparently, the batteries were going out on half of them. It states clearly in verse 7 that the lamps actually went out. I don’t know if that is significant, but they certainly felt the need for their devices, in order to be functional themselves. Once you get through the door, I guess it doesn’t didn’t make much difference. 

In waiting, we tend to get sleepy, we get tired. Is what we are waiting for going to happen or not? But meanwhile the things we depend on can go out and not be functional. And then to have God say: “I do not know you!” Those are about the worst words you would ever want to hear. I don’t understand that. If God knows each sparrow, then he knows me. So there are parts of this parable that make sense but other parts that seem pretty harsh. And this is Christ telling the story! 

Were they waiting for signs? Were they looking for signs as to when the doors would open?—signs of the end of time? Were they looking for assurance that the party’s going to begin? 

C-J: Two things here: First of all, God says: “Before the foundations of the earth when you were in your mother’s womb, I knew you.” That’s where I stand. And the other piece to this is oil has to be pressed. The oil doesn’t just drip off of the olive. I think that when we respond appropriately as God would have us, as a tool, an instrument in God’s hand, then we have proven that we’ve chosen our life to be secondary, and to be what God would have us to be—his intention and purpose. So that I think is essential to the story about the oil being burned and having enough oil. 

Going back to this ritual of the bride and the virgins going to the house: It was important because we see this as a celebration, but the bride was crying. She could be taken anywhere and possibly not see her family again for long periods of time. And these virgins were her childhood friends. It wouldn’t be unusual for this girl to be leaving home at 12 or 14 years old. She’s still a child, and her husband could be 20 years older than her. So this, and going to a whole different family. 

Traditionally these Bedouin tribes were cousins. So they knew the people, in order to keep the inheritance within that clan, within that tribal community, whether it’s sheep or wells, and usually it had a lot to do with wells, because without water, we die, and paths that are protected in increments of maybe 20 miles apart, that their cattle, their sheep, their goats would be protected should they need to have a larger mass of people to come. 

So I want to set that stage in terms of why the wedding is so important. You’re establishing relationship that is going multi generations. The idea of this relationship, as it’s told, to metaphor is not so much God’s relationship with us because he is our Creator, but our relationship with God, our maturity. These are young girls. Their innocence isn’t just the body, but it’s their real understanding of the world. Young girls are heavily protected by the family. They don’t go out without a male escort to protect that virginity and to protect that inheritance that comes through having children. 

So I think that this is a metaphor about the importance of coming into relationship with God, generationally. If we come into relationship with God we will raise our children, we will go out as examples and witnesses of this relationship, we will be different among those who do not have an understanding, or even maybe ever hearing what that relationship is. It goes far beyond a set of rules. It doesn’t just separate me according to tradition and rules—it separates me by choice, not just by circumcision, not just by the food I eat, but by this relationship of deferred gratification, doing what is expected of me in this realm and in God’s expectation from me so that I can be that instrument of peace, of wisdom, of kindness, of restoration, which can all be boiled down to grace and many other attributes. 

I think the idea of thieves and robbers is also a metaphor. “Satan comes among you. He is a thief and a robber for he comes to steal and destroy.” I think that is our ignorance, either willfully or selectively. “It’s just a little this or that. It’s not that big a deal if I don’t go to church, if I don’t fellowship, if I’m angry today, if I don’t ask for forgiveness, if I don’t give forgiveness.” I think this is all the things that are wrapped up in this traditional ritual of coming again, being innocent again, before God.

If we’ve lived a life for 40 years we’ve done a lot of damage, intentionally or just by living. When you brush up against people, you are influenced by them. The place we work, an unbelieving family, a community that we live in,… all those things have an impact on us. But if we come before God, we are renewed and innocent. We aren’t in fact, but God sees us as a clean slate and then day by day we are refashioned as the bride. We’re no longer just a virgin, we are the bride of Christ. And the relationship between a man and a woman and God is complete trust, surrender, expectations of providence, expectations of loyalty, expectations of protection. 

And so that relationship is really completely transformed. It’s not the same as the parental having all those expectations. The relationship between a husband and a wife is very, very different. 

David: As a Daoist I don’t see the Way as imposing expectations regarding my behavior, or expecting me to develop any kind of relationship with it. That is precisely what makes this the perfect Daoist parable, because its central message is also the central message of Daoism: Do Nothing (wu wei—無爲). Just go with the Way. In Christianity, Jesus is the Way—he said so himself. 

There is no call to develop a relationship because the relationship already exists. The whole point of this parable, it seems to me, is that you should Do Nothing. This was the problem of the five foolish virgins, who went and Did Something they thought they had to do—something for the relationship—when they did not. 

Dewan: The lesson from this parable is that during the last days, the condition of God’s people will be like the 10 virgins. Those who love God need extra preparation. When investing money, we should know how to manage it, because we have to give an account of what we have done.

Kiran: This interpretation of the parable is radical. For years I have heard so many preachers and read so many books telling me I have to do something to make sure I have enough oil—and that oil could be love, the holy spirit, or more reading of the Bible. Everybody focused on saying “You have to do something to be recognized by the groom.”

But in this new interpretation, it doesn’t matter whether your lamp is flickering or not, the point is to simply be present when the groom comes and he’ll take you in. All you have to do is be there. This is radical in terms of understanding how grace works. I have struggled with this parable quite a bit because Jesus doesn’t give any explanation, he just leaves it for us to interpret. 

Michael: I second that. A lot of these parables don’t make any sense but if you seek an explanation from the church, the church explains them in terms of eternal life and then it’s all about judgment and how good or bad you are. But that doesn’t make much sense. It doesn’t really explain the parable very well. I think I understand the parables a bit better if they are referring to grace rather than eternal life. Not only do they make a bit more sense, but they are also much more liberating than the usual church viewpoint.

C-J: I think we’re mixing apples and oranges. It’s selective hearing, God is constantly saying: “Work out with fear and trembling.” These virgins? Yes, the light went out. It’s like the person on their deathbed saying: “I’m not trying to do a Hail Mary here.” I think it’s written upon our hearts that there’s more than just this flicker here of what we call life. But we are constantly aware of our decisions, especially the ones that turn out really bad and do harm to us, to others, and even expanding beyond that. 

I really do think we should be prepared. Once you have the revelation, these virgins, these friends, these children, these young women, who are in many ways ignorant. This was part of a party, a traditional ritual. It’s being used as a metaphor. They should have anticipated. They’d been to other weddings before. They knew how much oil they would need. Perhaps they didn’t have enough money to buy that oil initially, or they thought they would go home for the night. We don’t know what was there. But what I do see there is this idea of being prepared, because the story continues. It doesn’t end with: “… and they decided to go and see if they could buy oil.” It’s a continuum of the consequence of not anticipating: “But what if we decide to stay? We don’t know how long this party will last?” 

I’m sure they had adult oversight. Those girls weren’t there alone. There was parental oversight. There were cousins, there were older people there. To me, this is a cause and effect. Do I believe grace is there? Absolutely. When my time comes, there’ll be a lot I got wrong. There’ll be a lot that I won’t be prepared for. And maybe God will say to me: “I gave you this and you did nothing with it. You put it under a basket because you do not trust me.” I don’t know. 

But what I do know is that in the lowest form of nature, in procreation or perpetuating for anything in life, preparation is required. You have to gather food, you have to build a nest, you have to protect your young. There is always preparation in order to perpetuate life. And so for me, that’s where I begin my relationship with God. God is life. And he has an expectation that once I understand what the requirement is: “You’re gonna grow up, Connie; you’re gonna have to get a job to buy food, clothing, shelter, and anything else. Mom and Dad aren’t going to do it for you.” There is a relationship there. And I believe that we are held accountable to that relationship. Yes, grace is first. But there is accountability.

Reinhard: I agree. Readiness and preparation is the key in the story. The oil is the Holy Spirit. It is mentioned throughout the Bible, such as in Psalm 23, where he anoints me with oil—a source of love, mercy, and grace. In the Old Testament rituals when the Israelites sacrifice animals, oil is sprinkled on the animal to sanctify them. So the key is the oil. 

The foolish virgins’ mistake is fairly small, because they still have a little oil, but they need more. Why don’t the wise virgins share their oil if they love their fellow wo/man? Jesus wants to emphasize preparation, our responsibility, because our eternal destiny is at stake. We have time to share what we need as people of God in our class here. We need to do that, we need to prepare, before the bridegroom arrives. We need to share in this class and elsewhere the need for preparation and readiness for Jesus’ second coming. 

God gives us everything we need in life. We need God to give us everything in life. In our godly life we need to share. A very small mistake of the foolish virgins made them ineligible to enter the wedding party. They were not ready. We have to prepare, to be ready, to share the grace of God, and stay aware all the time. 

God also wants to emphasize the timing of our preparation, because the thief will come in the night. The key here is timing and utmost preparation and readiness because we don’t know the time, but it’s going to come some day, whether at our personal end time or the end time for humanity.

Kiran: I have a problem with this, because how do we get more holy spirit? Nowhere in the Bible does it say that your actions earn you more holy spirit. Whether you’re a sinner or a believer, the holy spirit works in all of us. We all have a measure of faith also. So the way I think about preparation is to not rely on my own doings, but to rely on God’s mercy to ask me into the party. That’s the preparation that I’m realizing now that we have to do.

Who in the world would sell you oil at midnight in those times? Even now, here in America, you can’t usually buy things at midnight (Walmart Supercenters are open 24/7, but they are only in the big cities. Most Americans can’t buy anything at night. 

When the virgins came back, it doesn’t say that they had the oil. It’s left to our interpretation. So the preparation is when the call is made, when the groom is coming: “Be there, and rely on his mercy, his grace.” That’s the preparation I have to do. It is difficult to do because I worry in case he doesn’t accept me because I don’t have my lamp and he doesn’t see my face. But it doesn’t matter. They’re coming to a huge party where there’s plenty of light.

C-J: I think it’s true that once we receive the gift of faith we are in covenant relationship sealed by that blood.  I think we’re in agreement. It isn’t anything that we can do. And every day God is molding, shaping us. Calvinists say only so many people, it’s already been decided, will go into heaven. But I too, believe in the grace of God, we can’t begin to understand God’s grace. Why me and not you? We don’t know. 

When they knocked on the door after it was closed, somebody said: “Go away. I knew you not.” I just can’t imagine the God that took me or us or any believer would ever say: “You’re too late.” I just can’t conceive of that because of the transformation that he promises us, the covenant that we’re in.

Reinhard: Relying on God’s mercy to be saved is only half of the story. These foolish woman had a personal responsibility to prepare. So readiness is still important and is in our power. We cannot just sit back and relax, waiting for the gift of mercy to fall upon us. That’s only half the truth, to me. We have got to do something.

Donald: When I was without my phone yesterday I felt more than uncomfortable. I wish that I felt that same way when I neglect my spirituality. My dependence on that device has become profound, yet 25 years ago, that device didn’t exist. So once you actually engage in the linking the two, you do have some responsibility of keeping that device powered. Maybe this is a really dumb analogy, but I just wish I had the same sense of loss about my spirituality that I had about that device. But even if I have the device, the device becomes useless unless I play a role in keeping it maintained and up and running.

David: I don’t think that’s a dumb analogy at all. I think it’s a great one. Imagine you are a Dayak living in the deepest jungles of Borneo. You’ve never seen a cell phone in your life. You have no idea what one is or what it does, so you are never going to feel any sense of loss for not having one. 

If you go back to the parable of the sower and the seed, what is the stony ground supposed to do with the seed? It can Do Nothing! It has to just go with the Way. The Word is there to work what magic it may, but there is nothing the ground can do about it. And it shouldn’t even try. 

Jay: This is a very interesting parable and there’s no doubt, as I think we can see from the conversation so far, that two themes seem to emerge. One is the idea of preparedness—that whether foolish or wise, there’s a sense that preparedness takes place. The other theme is what happens when the groom gets there. I think it’s important not to lose sight of this because we know the whole parable. 

But at the beginning of the parable, as Don emphasized, everyone’s a virgin. Everybody is “in.” Prepared or not, they’re in, they’re pure people. Their virginity is what makes them “in,” not whether or not they have a lamp that has enough oil in it. At some point, though, all of the people who are “in” do a self evaluation. “Oh my goodness, it’s now! We’re here!” The self evaluation is an evaluation of their preparedness. “Am I prepared? Have I done everything I’m supposed to do? Do I have enough oil in here to make it through the whole way? Will I have enough oil to get home after this is?” 

That’s the foolishness, in my opinion—the belief that I can self evaluate and determine whether or not I’m in or out. The wise have lived a life such that when they get to that point they don’t have that same sense of urgency about what they’ve done, what they still need to do, what they could do. 

The second theme of getting in just by being there is really interesting. I’d like to consider further the question of why the foolish virgins were not recognized when they got back to the door. Why could they not be identified as being part of the group? Why doesn’t God know them? 

I still struggle with the part of this parable where the wise advise the foolish that they can go do something. I find it hard to reconcile. I take the parable as a warning to be very careful about judging yourself or others, because you’re most likely to do an improper evaluation. It’s not your place to judge. 

Anonymous: It is challenging. There’s still more to struggle with. Not everything is clear. I have some questions. It could be this way, it could be that way. I’m not sure. So we need to do more work and study.

Robin: Did the foolish virgins leave because they were relying on their works instead of God’s grace? They were told that the bridegroom was coming and they should stay there and wait. At the time that they left, they didn’t know how long before the bridegroom would appear. It turned out to be midnight but they didn’t know that. I don’t think they were given a certain time. 

Perhaps they didn’t bring enough of the spirit that even when it got dark, they kept waiting. They thought that they had to go try to find oil after dark. If they would have stayed, if they would have kept watching… That’s what Jesus said over and over again: That we should watch and we should wait. That is a matter of faith, not a matter of works. 

Michael: I agree it’s very interesting about the “I didn’t know you” phrase in light of the verse Connie read that: “I’ve known you since you were in your mother’s womb.” So I do think that God knows us, for the most part of our lives, but not, it seems, at the moment of judgment. The typical Christian view of judgment is about whether a person was bad or good, whereas for God it is about dispensing grace. God’s judgment is God’s grace. 

If you decide to go back and get some oil, God doesn’t know you, which means you’re not getting the grace. It’s bad because we need grace even though we don’t see it. But when you don’t have the grace, you’re left to your own devices. And that’s hell. Just being without God, just God not knowing me, is hell.

C-J: I think it’s about maturity. When Paul speaks to the masses, he says: “You keep desiring milk. God wants you to eat meat.” So if these virgins, metaphorically that lost the oil that burned away, were children, then they wouldn’t have had an understanding of the responsibility in this ritual. “If you’re gonna go to the wedding, make sure you come prepared.” I mean, really? But I think that God doesn’t judge everyone the same way. He knew us before the foundations of the earth, he knew us before we were in our mother’s womb. 

To whom much is given much is required. God’s mercy is on the lame, the sick, the disenfranchised. They’re not going to have the same measuring stick as somebody who grew up in a church with relationship in a congregation that was generational, that is rooted in the Word that we call our holy text. It’s not the same measuring stick. He holds us accountable for what we understand, and God’s grace is sufficient, even unto the ends of the earth. If we rest in that, and not presume upon cheap grace, it’s much, much more, but for the child, he sees: “You did the best you could, you didn’t understand the responsibility.” 

We want to do an all or nothing and with God, it’s never an all or nothing. If you look at the planet, the universe, it’s dynamic, it’s always changing. It’s always being transformed. The energy is there, but it shows itself at the big boom differently than when it becomes an imploding star. I think that we just want to put God in a box because of the way our brain works. But we cannot begin to understand the high depth or the breadth of the grace and mercy of the Creator.

He reveals to us what we can understand at that point in time. He molds and shapes us by the people that we brush by, or that he brings into our life through an invitation. I was invited to join this group. I have grown being in this group. This is the grace of God, present and active in every minute of our lives. 

Kiran: If these virgins are like 12 to 15 year old children, I wouldn’t expect them to have money to go and buy oil. I think it’s the parents that prepare those lamps and the wise parents gave more oil so it’s not even the virgins’ mistake. What if the groom comes and you have a lamp and everything but the groom says: “You look ugly, I don’t want you; you look short. I don’t want you; you’re too young, I don’t want you; you’re too old. I don’t want you”? Here, the groom is saying that whoever is present when he comes, he’s going to take them. So I think the point is to be present there. So any way I look at this, the preparation is to rely 100 percent on God’s grace

Don: On Jay’s point, you might say that the wise were clueless and culpable as well, sending them off in the middle of the night to get oil. We have much to discuss. Think about what God’s grace contributes to the understanding of the parable. 

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