Don: Jesus says in Matthew 18:19: “Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.” He says much the same thing in Matthew 7:7-8: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”
People often point to these passages as evidence that the bible is inconsistent and unreliable. Who among us has not asked god for something and had no response?
GodWeb’s top ten list of Christian prayers is as follows:
The Lord’s Prayer
Twenty-Third Psalm
Make Me an Instrument of Your Peace
The Irish Blessing
A Short Grace For Use Before Meals
Christ Be With Me
A Table Blessing
Children’s Bedtime Prayer
The Jesus Prayer
These prayers are taught and used in homes, schools, and of course churches, and they serve as a guide to how to compose prayer.
Jesus recited the Lord’s Prayer in response to the disciples’ request to be taught how to pray. (Luke 11-1: It happened that while Jesus was praying in a certain place, after He had finished, one of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, teach us to pray just as John also taught his disciples.”)
Our question for today is: What do we have to learn in order to pray effectively? Who is to be our teacher?
Romans 8 says that we don’t know how to pray, so clearly we need to learn how, but we don’t pay much serious attention to teaching how to pray. Romans 8 makes some remarkable claims about prayer. For example, verse 26 says: “In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words….”
This seems to suggest that if we do not know how to pray, have not learned how to pray, or for whatever reason are unable to pray, then the holy spirit will pray on our behalf. The “groanings” are not of the spirit; they are of the supplicant unable to find the words to express him- or herself. The following verse 27 suggests that the will of god is an overriding concept within the context of prayer: “….and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” Jesus makes this absolutely explicit in the Lord’s Prayer: “Thy will be done.”
And then verse 28 says: “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” This might be one of the most cited verses in Christian prayer, particularly in times of grief, when people are so overwhelmed they are unable to pray. It’s a reassuring statement. But along with the others, it begs the question: Why do we need to pray? If we don’t know how to pray, if we pray ineffectively, if the spirit will pray on our behalf when we can’t find the words, and if god is working behind the scenes for the good of those who love him, then why should we need to pray at all?
Verse 32 implies that you don’t have to pray, because god will give you what you need anyway: “He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” Verse 33-34 then goes on to say that Jesus himself will intercede on our behalf. It’s not just the holy spirit: “Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.”
Given this apparent contradiction between being told, on the one hand, that we must learn how to pray and, on the other, that we don’t need to pray at all, the real questions, it seems to me, are: What is the role of prayer? How are we to understand the meaning and the message and the method of prayer? Is prayer important? What should we be praying for?
We noted last week that polls show a very large majority of Americans pray in one form or another at least once a day. Globally, people of every faith pray, and have done so since the beginning of recorded history. If the holy spirit and Jesus pray for us and we don’t need to pray, would it be better to leave it in their perfectly good hands and not pray at all? Should we “unlearn” how to pray?
Alice: I don’t think there is much to be learned. Prayer is more about feelings than about words. Perhaps the disciples, in asking how to pray, meant “Teach us how to connect with god,” rather than “Teach us how to get what we want.” When we do pray (and this is important to teach children) it is important to put oneself in the right frame of mind: One must have faith in god, be in harmony with our brothers and sisters, and concentrate.
Don: Last week we talked about what people pray for—from big things to trivial things. Does god really care about any of the things we typically pray for? Should we be praying for something else? Is it not preposterous, as Harry has pointed out, that we expect this utterly incomprehensible and all-powerful entity we call god to perform magic tricks on demand?
David: The passage in Luke 11, where Jesus taught the disciples how to pray, is of all the passages Don has quoted the one most worthy of attention, in my opinion. In terms of the questions Don has posed, this passage had—precisely as Jesus intended—the answers to those questions. How should we pray? We should recite the Lord’s Prayer! It has our daily bread in it, and the primacy of god’s will. The other passages, to my mind, only serve to obfuscate and confuse. I think I may have criticized the bible before on these grounds! If I were to produce a new version of the bible, it would be very short indeed. Its key messages, such as how to pray, are wrapped up in a few passages of sublime simplicity and beauty, such as this.
Harry: The Lord’s Prayer is a state of mind, a thought process. I remember being struck, some 15 years ago, by the passage “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10.) The phrase in Romans 8:27: “…and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is” supports the idea of prayer as a mindset. It’s god who searches the heart. It’s not a matter of what we say. It’s just a recognition that god is doing good things for us, and that we should be doing likewise for our neighbor.
Ada: I have prayed for many things that did not happen. Eventually, it dawned on me that the Lord’s Prayer was all I needed. It taught me “Thy will be done,” not “My will be done,” and that lesson changed the nature of my prayer. Now, instead of praying unsuccessfully for the life of a loved one, instead of praying unsuccessfully to become a doctor, today I pray god to direct my steps, to give me the patience to deal with life, the vision to be able to appreciate the good in others, and a helping hand when I cannot sustain the effort it takes to help others.
Don: In Matthew 6:5-9, Jesus did give some prefatory instructions and remarks about prayer, before teaching the disciples the Lord’s Prayer:
“When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
“And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words. So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.
“Pray, then, in this way:…”
and then follows the Lord’s Prayer.
David: I get the sense from those words that he is saying “You don’t really need to pray, God knows what you need before you know yourself, and he will take care of your needs as he sees them; but if it makes you feel better, here’s a prayer that at least won’t do you any harm.” Also, the “deep groanings” verse in Romans I find beautiful in its simplicity: There are things we don’t know how to express, and things that we don’t know we should express, but the spirit—our inner light—knows, and so god knows.
Michael: Sometimes I feel that prayer can be dangerous, in the sense that it can be used to test god, and non-responses will shake our faith. If our prayers appear to be answered, our faith seems to be justified.
Alice: Unanswered prayer can be more faith-building when you realize later why your prayers were not answered; that god had good reasons. The issues that god wants me to pray for—things that seem to be the will of god—take no effort to think about. Things that do not seem to be in accord with god’s will are quickly forgotten, in my experience.
Harry: The closest I get to prayer is when I hit upon a quiet spell during a hectic period, and my mind starts to reflect and meditate upon people I love and people I don’t love, and maybe that’s how god opens my heart to entertain solutions to issues I might be facing. But the subject of prayer, and prayer itself, I find very difficult.
Jason: I struggle with it too. If the primary prayer is that god’s will be done, what’s the point of praying for anything else? We tend to turn prayer into a selfish “what’s in it for me?” exercise. I agree with Mike that this kind of prayer—the kind practiced almost universally—is a dangerous thing, because it will lead many whose prayers appear to be unanswered to lose their faith, or it will give people who think god has answered their prayer an ersatz faith based on false premises. But prayer that focuses on god’s will would be very different, and much more powerful. The bible is a problem because it keeps telling us in many examples that if we have enough faith we can get god to do what we want. It teaches the popular sort of prayer. For instance, Hannah prayed and prayed for Samuel to the point where god relented and gave him to her. But to pray only that god’s will be done requires a very mature spirituality; one not attainable to, or sustainable by, many people.
Don: Nobody wants to serve a powerless god who cannot help one. It is belief in the opposite—a powerful god who can help you—that has driven prayer through the ages. But it seems there is a type of prayer that is utterly different from that.
Jason: Indeed. The Lord’s Prayer is not about getting a lot of stuff from god. It’s about getting enough to eat, and it’s about forgiving other people so that god will forgive you in turn. It’s really basic, really simple.
Harry: People pray often because we want some bad situation to end or to improve an existing situation. It’s human nature. But I do think that some people have the gift of prayer, not in the sense that their prayers tend to get answered but in the sense of having found a way to converse with god. My grandmother was this kind of person. She prayed every night, for up to two hours, for every individual in the family and their unique needs and circumstances. My grandfather told me once that she had prayed deeply for an uncle’s safe return from service in WW2. In fact, he did not survive, but during her prayers for him she would feel someone stroking the back of her head. It gave her a sense of peace. That kind of prayer life serves a purpose, if you have that gift. But for most of us, I think just knowing and accepting god’s will in our lives gives us what we need.
Michael: Humans have been spiritual beings since Day 1, and have prayed to something or other, and have expected their prayers to be answered.
Don: Paul talked about a “thorn in his flesh.” It’s clearly a metaphor, though for what, we do not know. But we do know that “thorn” is the translation of a word meaning a large spike big enough to be impaled upon. It was not a small splinter, not an irritation—it was a source of great pain.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10: Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
He goes on to talk about how this thorn in the flesh gave him a certain kind of dependence and reliance on god and therefore reassurance of the presence of god in his life. The point is, he did get a response to his request for god to remove the thorn. It was not the answer he wanted and expected. Perhaps this is what Jesus meant by our need to learn how to pray: By asking, by praying, we receive god’s grace—his love, his reconciliation, his forgiveness. So perhaps we need to unlearn the idea that “Ask and ye shall receive” means you will receive whatever you ask for, and instead learn (or re-learn) that it means “Ask god for anything you like, and you will assuredly receive his grace.” In our next meeting, we will examine this further by looking in detail at the Lord’s Prayer.
Ada: Sometimes god’s greatest blessings are unanswered prayers.
David: Perhaps even the Lord’s Prayer is selfishly asking too much. Buddhists and Daoists take a completely different approach. They don’t ask for anything; they simply empty their minds, through meditation techniques, so as to leave it open and receptive to the universal consciousness, the word of god, the grace of god, enlightenment—call it what you will. That seems to me meet the key criteria given in the bible for the ideal way to pray; that is, to make oneself totally subservient, to totally suppress one’s own will, one’s ego, in favor of god’s will. The grace and enlightenment we receive in return helps us live better, happier, and more fulfilling lives.
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