Prayer: Harder than you think?

Don: If one were to place a finger on any inhabited spot on a globe of the Earth, one would be certain to find people who pray. Prayer is one of the most commonly held cultural similarities of humankind. It is as basic, human, and instinctual a trait as eating and sleeping. The notion that there is something bigger and stronger “out there” that is approachable and will consider human requests is as common in the most advanced as in the most primitive of human societies.

One of the best studies of prayer in America found that 90 percent of Americans say they have some kind of spiritual communication, be it formal prayer or informal thought or emotion, with that higher power every day. Fifty percent say they do it more than once every day. Of those who pray, 80 percent said they begin with some kind of familiar, intimate, personal greeting such as “Dear Lord,” or “Father in heaven,” or “Dear Jesus.”

Why do we pray? Should we pray? If so, what should we pray for? How should we pray? What does the life of Jesus particularly teach us about prayer?

In reading a book about the invasion of north Africa in WWII recently, I discovered that the great generals—Eisenhower, Patten, and so on—led active prayer lives, as recounted in their diaries and other historical records. Perhaps it harks back to the old saw that there are no atheists in a foxhole.

Three-quarters of the people who pray, do so for themselves, their family, and their friends. One quarter pray for themselves only.

People pray for all kinds of things, from major needs such as health, work, and financial security, to things as mundane as finding a parking space or lost keys, for an airplane seat upgrade, for a pass in a school exam, and for a win for the Detroit Lions.

A study of hospital prayer books, in which patients and visitors can write down their thoughts and prayers to share with others, has found that most of the prayers are informal, extempore—they are not quoted from prayer books or some religious liturgy. Twenty-eight percent of the prayers consist both of requests and thanksgiving. Another 28 percent have requests only, while 22 percent consist only of thanksgiving.

There is a strong interest in the link between health and prayer. There is even an emerging academic discipline called “neuro-theology” led by respected scholars in schools of religion and medicine. Its purpose is to study the effects of prayer on health and healing.

A University of Pittsburgh study found that people who attend a worship service at least once a week live three years longer, on average, than those who do not attend a worship service at all. An NIH study of alternative medicines (a multibillion dollar industry) found that prayer is the most common form of alternative medicine in the US—commoner than acupuncture, chiropractic, yoga, vitamins, and so on.

In about 2006, the American Heart Association conducted a large study among  cardiopulmonary bypass surgery patients at several major institutions including the Mayo Clinic to test the findings of some ten or so studies claiming that prayer was benefiting such patients. The 1,800 AHA study patients were divided into three groups: One that was not prayed for, one that was prayed for and the patients were aware of the fact, and one that was prayed for but the patients were not aware of the fact.

The prayers were prayed on behalf of the patients by the congregations at St. Paul’s Monastery in St. Paul, Minnesota, The Community of Theresians Carmelites in Worcester, Massachusetts, and Silent Unity, a prayer ministry near Kansas City, Missouri. They used the first name and the first initial of the last name of every patient (e.g., “Donald W.,” “Sarah S,,” etc.) and they were instructed to include the phrase: “…for successful surgery with a quick, healthy recovery and no complications.”

This study, conducted over the course of 30 days, concluded that “Prayer offered by strangers had no effect on … recovery…,” and that “Patients who knew that they were being prayed for had a higher rate of post-operative complications,,,, perhaps because of the expectations the prayers created….” This was perhaps a chance finding, but it also led to the hypothesis that people who were told they were being prayed for might assume their condition must be very bad indeed if prayer was called for, causing psychosomatic stress.

One criticism of the study says that trying to subject prayer to scientific study is both bad religion and bad science; that the laws of physics cannot apply to metaphysics.

Why should we pray? If god knows everything about us, and knows the beginning from the end, what is it that prayer can bring? Prayer has been a hallmark, a pillar, of religion since the beginning of time. In the scriptures, we are told that we don’t know how to pray and that we don’t know what to pray for,. But we are also told to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians), we are told that “The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much” (James 5:16.) In Matthew 18, Jesus categorically states that God will do anything that two or three people agree to ask of him. We see in the life of Jesus himself that he prays over and over, that he responds to the disciples question about how to pray by giving them the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6).

Some prayer is ritualized. Many denominations have their own book of common prayer; the Catholics say their Rosary.

In light of all this, the question is: What is the value of prayer? How ought we to assess our prayers? Do we need to learn how to pray; to ask, like the disciples, to be taught how to pray? Can we have any kind of sense that an answer to prayer is a true answer? As a surgeon I am confronted by this question frequently, when I see patients with difficult problems. I am trained to take care of these problems, many of which I am able to resolve. Often, patients will ascribe a successful surgery to their prayer rather than to my knowledge and training and experience.

If god knows everything about one, and therefore knows what one needs, what is the point of prayer? What purpose can it serve? Jesus turned to prayer often, repetitively. It brought something to him, but what?

And how can we have a meaningful prayer without being necessarily magical? I’ve prayed often for help to pass an examination in school. Is that appropriate?

David: After faith, which is paramount, all that remains is to keep the line of communication open. The Lord’s Prayer serves that function, and it also has within it everything one would need to ask: “Give us this day our daily bread” encompasses everything I might need and my faith reassures me that god understands what I need better than I do. The Lord’s Prayer is calming in times of trouble. Indeed, it may often lie neglected and unused when times are good, but it will return to mind when things are bad. But I don’t think that we “should” pray, in the normative sense—I don’t think it is a requirement, but it feels beneficial to one’s spiritual health to pray, in my personal experience.

Robin: Prayer leaves me feeling unburdened. I feel that god is with me, whether I am praying to praise, or to make requests. A couple of experiences have left me absolutely convinced that god answers prayer. They were not prayers for me, but for loved ones. My elderly grandmother, who for most of her life was a vivacious woman, lost her vitality and sense of fun in advanced old age. She was also fearful of death because she felt she did not deserve to go to heaven. In the last weekend I spent with her, I went reluctantly, knowing how hard it would be to see her in this state, and I cried a prayer before I left that the fear be lifted from her. When I arrived at the apartment, where a hospice aide was taking care of her, she said, just out of the blue, “I am not afraid.” It went right over my head at the time, but hours later it struck me: My prayer had indeed been very directly, and very positively, answered.

Michael: A book called The Kneeling Christian posits that one is at one’s spiritual highest when one is at one’s physical lowest (i.e., kneeling.) Prayer is how we communicate with god. I have also been reading the story of Ben Carson, the well-known neurosurgeon. He seems to believe that when he prays together with his patients. the prayers have a positive effect on their surgical outcomes.

Don: Is prayer a conversation? Is it silence? Is it petition? Intercession? Communion? An encounter? Is it seeking? Or is it all of the above?

David: The Lord’s Prayer is communal. It’s not “My father which art in heaven,” it’s “Our father;” it’s not “Give me this day my daily bread, it’s “Give us this day our daily bread.” It reminds us that we are praying for others as well as for ourselves. It is the perfect prayer (as one might expect, given its source!) Its key phrase, to me, is “Thy will be done,” because it explains why, for every touching affirmation of positive responses to prayer such as related by Robin just now, there are dozens of non-responses or perhaps even negative responses. Millions in Syria today must be sending the most heart-rending prayers to god, but clearly, their prayers are not being answered; or if they are, the answers are unintelligible to us. Alice reminded us of this when recounting how, in the depths of her despair over Fay, she opened her bible randomly and her eyes were drawn to the very phrase: “Thy will be done.” It brought her great comfort. It shows us that praying for anything specific is pointless; that god knows what we need and in the end it is his will that will be done. For all these reasons I find the Lord’s Prayer to be all I need.

Robin: I consider conversations that I have with god to be prayer, though not as formal and not as urgent. Even though he does not chat back,I can still feel his presence and love. I also maintain a written prayer journal, which helps keep my prayers more focused than when I voice them aloud or in my head.

Don: I have a strong personal sense that it is difficult sometimes to understand the point of prayer, given that god seems to know everything anyway, that Romans 8 tells us we don’t know how to pray anyway, and that so many prayers go unanswered, as in Syria, the Holocaust, family tragedies, and so on. We seem to need a more refined view of prayer than that of a celestial Santa Clause. Is prayer even primarily for us, or is it primarily for god? Is god indifferent to prayer? Does persistence make a difference in prayer?

Alice: Prayer is a very complex subject, even though we may practice it almost every hour of our lives. Prayer is not an observance, reserved for certain times; rather, it is a way of life. I maintain a constant conversation with god about everything I experience—emotional, physical, or psychological. I don’t know how it works, but sometimes—usually, when I am at my lowest—he answers. But I have been so low at times that the stark reality of what I faced has obliterated even the thought of prayer. Facts can overwhelm faith. You know that god listens, yet you cannot help but see the facts, the stark reality, of a situation. It makes it much harder to bear when the one you are praying for is family rather than a stranger. With family, the stakes are so high that your fear of a non-response to your prayer erodes your faith in it; whereas, when praying for strangers, one is not deeply personally invested in the outcome of the prayer, and one’s faith in god’s positive response to prayer is stronger.

Robin: Romans 8:22 -26 are instructive…

For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

Don: …As is the prayer of the prophet Habakkuk 1:2-4:

How long, O Lord, will I call for help,
And You will not hear?
I cry out to You, “Violence!”
Yet You do not save.

Why do You make me see iniquity,
And cause me to look on wickedness?
Yes, destruction and violence are before me;
Strife exists and contention arises.

Therefore the law is ignored
And justice is never upheld.
For the wicked surround the righteous;
Therefore justice comes out perverted.

Habakkuk goes on to talk about how he seeks answers from god but can’t seem to find them. So Alice is in good company with the prophets!

How does this square with the “prosperity gospel”?

David: Alice is also in good company with Eli Wiesel, whom Don mentioned on August 17 on the topic of forgiveness. Wiesel lived through the Holocaust, and lost his entire family to it. His prayers went unanswered, but in the end, he forgave god, and this brought him tremendous healing and peace. It’s a hard, hard lesson (if true at all) but could it be that this ultimate healing was in fact the answer to his anguished prayers during the Holocaust?

Don: Scripture does assert that for everyone who asks, knocks, or seeks, there is a response. But it is not necessarily the answer that is sought. It might be something quite different. Paul asked god over and over to remove “the thorn from my flesh.” We don’t know what that thorn represented, but we do know it was never removed. God’s answer was: “My grace is sufficient for you.” God gave him love, forgiveness, and reconciliation, but he did not give him the specific things he asked for.

Some people seem better at prayer than others, certainly in public prayer. But prayer is more often personal and private. Are some people (nuns who immerse themselves in prayer, for instance) better at prayer life than others? Are some born to pray? And do the responses differ?

We will talk more on all this.